Words to live by

These words were written by a blogging friend who also suffered a miscarriage. 

Just thought I would share.  

I don't drink tea - but I never intend to give up!

photo bomb

There is just something about this photo bombing alpaca that makes me smile. So, I thought I would share it with you.

Have a good day!

Perfect

I am not a perfectionist but I put a lot of effort into trying to be perfect.

In the past 2 weeks I have been reminded several times how much I fall short. Either I disappoint myself or I feel like I am not the person that others want me to be.
Expectations set too high....
No matter how hard I try I am never going to please everyone - or get everything done - or say all the right things.
But then the frustration and discouragement sets in.

I want to be a perfect mom.
The one who always seems to be prepared and organized. Ready to take on the world. I want to have a child who has good manners and who loves to share with others. I don't want to be the one everyone looks at in the store when their 4 year old decides to throw a fit. I don't want to make a big deal about things that don't matter. I don't want her to feel afraid. I don't want her to feel like other things in my life are more important than her. I want to teach her about Jesus and show her how to grow to be the woman He wants her to be. I want every day to be a celebration of life and the blessings that God has given to us. I want her to feel special and loved and cherished more than anything else.

I want to be a perfect mom.....
but, I am not and I can't be.

So, instead-
I want to be the mom that Annie needs.

God allowed ME to be the mother of this beautiful little girl and I don't ever want to lose sight of that. I pray that God can help me to look past my insecurities and weaknesses and focus on being the best mom I can with the talents and strengths He has given to me. I thank Him every day for allowing me to be Annie's mom.

First time for EVERYTHING.

Friday, October 18th was a first for me.
Friday was the first time EVER that I was a parent going on a field trip with my child! We went on a hayride and picked some pumpkins and had a great day! It was cold and cloudy but Annie's smile was melting my heart. It was a few hours of my life that made a million memories.

Sunday, October 20th
Another first for me.... I went to a baby shower. I don't remember the last time I was invited to a baby shower and actually went. I have always had excuses before. But, it went ok today. It was a happy time.

In between those 2 firsts - we went to Octoberfest. The sun was shining and there was laughter and giggles. I was with my beautiful mother and priceless daughter.

Counting my blessings!!!

Christmas Mountain

It has been awhile since I did a blog post. My little super star is now 4 and in pre-school 3 days a week. She has gone from a toddler to a brave 4 year old who can do anything and everything! Our summer was packed with fun as we spent a lot of time outside. It ended with tears as we said good-bye to my sister and brother-in-law and their family as they moved back to Indonesia. Every day Annie talks about her cousins and asks me when they will come back. She misses them so much. Last week she got to spend some precious time with grammo and grampo in the Dells. I was able to be there for the last few days. It was so neat to see Annie going down the water slide and doing other "big girl things". Before heading home, we spent a little time at this petting farm and had a blast on the pedal-carts. 

Special time with family. 

Cherished memories!!

wipeout

Seriously people...
There are 2 shows on TV that make me laugh until the tears come out... AFV and Wipeout.
Right now I am watching a pre-recorded episode of Wipeout and I need to go to bed - but it is making me LOL - laugh out loud!! Some of the time it looks like these crazy people are possibly getting hurt - I'm not laughing at that - just all of the commentary and other hilarious  booofs and clobbers along the way.  That is what is making me giggle!

I love weekends.
I love wipeout!

Precious

Annie was praying before bed tonight and she said these words...

"Dear Jesus, thank you for mommy and daddy and

 for grammo and grampo and..... Jesus, thank you for being the BEST Jesus ever! Amen"

Amen!!

Family FIGHT

We had our first official family fight today.
All 3 of us were in on it.
No one was holding back.

Ok... it was a pillow fight. And it was fun. Annie especially enjoyed it. There was a lot of laughing and swinging and bonking and jumping on the bed.

Don was holding a cup of ice water during the pillow fight. Thank goodness it didn't spill since he was on my side of the bed. When we were done Annie announced "I am so glad that we like to fight!"

We also went to Paul Molitor park yesterday. Henley found a friend and so did Annie. The weather was so beautiful yesterday and today. Here are some highlights.

Flower Park

Fun day today!!
We had some of the cousins over and they got to go to the park at Westside school with us. We also enjoyed a yummy lunch together and had fun splashing in Annie's pool. We are going to miss them when they move in a few weeks.  (I don't want to think about that, yet). They are all so special and we had a fantastic day!

A few more parks...

Dear Summer,
PLEASE SLOW DOWN A LITTLE!!!
Sincerely,
Carlena

We have a few more parks we can cross off our list. I forgot to bring my camera to Playmore park in East Troy so we will have to go back and do that one again. We had a great time last week at Sunset Park and a few weeks ago at Reed Park in Fontana.  That was very special because a few of Annie's cousins got to join us. Here are a few pictures to highlight our fun.

I hope you all enjoy every moment of these sunshiny days!!

Summertime!!

I really am a serious fan of SUMMER! 

We just celebrated the 4th of July and I enjoyed being with family and seeing fireworks and BBQs and swimming.... That is my idea of a good time! Annie loved everything about the fireworks this year. Last year they were still a little too "BOOMY" for her. But, I think she would go see them everyday if she could. (I think she likes staying up late, too!)

Here are a few pictures from last night's firework party!

We missed you, Sophie. I hope you had fun at camp.

I often mentioned how blessed I am as I express myself with this blog.... I am blessed because my family is so special and I am blessed to live in America. I enjoyed explaining to Annie a little bit about how our country began and how wonderful it is to have the freedoms we have.  After listening to me talk for a few minutes she asked me if she was "free" to go outside and ride her bike?! I'm sure she was listening to everything I mentioned about the constitution and our founding fathers!

my Quest for SPECIAL...

I feel like I have been on a quest lately.  A personal quest for a little something called "special".

When someone is looking for something you will often hear them say "I finally found it in the last place I looked!" Of course it is the last place they looked - why would they continue to look after the lost item was already found? That phrase actually implies that they have looked in several places before they found it.

 I feel like I have been looking for a way for me to feel "special".  After not looking in the right place for a while - I feel I uncovered some special-ness today.


I celebrated mother's day - my wedding anniversary - and my birthday all within a month's time. All special occasions but I personally felt like my husband did not go out of his way to try to make me feel "special".  My disappointment grew after each event passed and I was a bit frustrated.

I am thankful for all of the birthday hugs from Annie and the sweet cards that my nieces and nephews gave me and there were a lot of birthday greetings on my facebook wall and some sweet gifts from my sister and parents but there was no billboard sign or the neon lights that I was hoping for.

Then while paging thru a book I am reading, Jesus reminded me how special He thinks I am.  I was going to try to sum up my thoughts about it in this blog and I attempted several times - writing some things -re-writing some things - deleting some things - changing some things.... But when it comes to trying to describe God's love for me and how special He thinks I am... I was having a hard time expressing my thoughts into words that could accurately explain it.

I have been surrounded by love my whole life - but it is still hard for me to understand the depth of how much God loves me.

I am so thankful that He thinks I am special and that's all that matters!

Clean sweep...

So, I am always amazed when I sweep the floor how much stuff I sweep up!
I try to sweep every day.
It doesn't take more than a minute or two and it is always nice when it is done.
There are days that I need to sweep more than once because I have a 3 year old (and I tend to be dropsy) so I need to sweep up a mess - but other days it is just because I don't enjoy the feeling of something sticking to the bottom of my feet while I am walking around. No matter how clean the floor looks there is usually a nice pile of debris that gets swept into the dust pan.

When I think of my life, I know if I let Jesus sweep up in the kitchen of my heart - I would be embarrassed by the pile He would accumulate. It doesn't matter if it looks clean at first glance - I still need to be mindful of the dust and crumbs that so easily get scattered about. It is a daily chore in my home and needs to be a daily chore to keep my heart and life clean as well.  I won't ever have a clean sweep - but hopefully it will be less dirty today than yesterday.

Lord, please help me.
Thank you for your strength.

Broad Street Park and Birthday fun

It was my birthday today.
I am old.
Just kidding - I'm not old.
There are a few things that might make you think I'm old....
Annie guessed my age was in the mid 90s.
It has been 20 years since I graduated high school.
I have been at my current job for 16 years.
But I still don't feel old - so maybe I'm not.

We went to Green Meadows Petting Farm this morning. I love that place. It is so simple and fun. Annie did not know what to do first because there were so many fun things that she remembered from last time. She kept running from one thing to the next. Here are a few pictures to highlight our time there.

Annie and I also were able to cross another park off our list. We walked from our house to Broad Street Park this afternoon.  It is about 5 blocks away but with all the walking we did this morning I was not sure Annie would want to walk to the park and back - but she did great! Henley came along, too.  Annie always amazes me with how brave she is and how strong she is.  There are a lot of little rock climbing walls at this park. After doing it once with my help she was zipping up and going down the big girl slide all by herself.

After the park, Annie tried out her bike that she got from my sister.  It is a great size for her and she loves riding FAST! We grilled hamburgers for supper and then it was time for Annie to go to bed. Don was asleep before 9 also - so here I sit on my birthday in a quiet house.  It was a nice day and even though my husband did not get me a present - or buy me a card - I am very blessed.
Year #38 - Here I come!

Summer Plans

One of the plans Annie and I have this summer is to visit some of the great parks we have in the area and enjoy as many swings and slides as possible.  We were able to cross one off our list today when we went to "Duck Pond" and enjoyed the park and had a picnic lunch.  My sister and her family gave me a new backpack along with some picnic supplies for my birthday.  I love picnics!
I love being in the fresh air and sunshine having a sandwich - but today was cold and rainy and I am thankful that we went to Duck Pond because we had a pavilion to sit under while we ate lunch in the cold rain and wind!
The weather did not slow us down and here are some pictures to prove it.  Annie wanted to bring her pink elephant with on our adventure today. His name is Henley and I think he might come along as we visit other local parks.  He can show off some of his acrobatic abilities along the way. We will keep updating our park adventures as we go throughout the summer.

The Slide

We are spending as much time as possible outside now that spring is here and the weather is nice!  Annie and I had a great time at the park today.

Mother's Day was last weekend and I am so blessed to be the mother of this precious child! She is a pure delight! She has been letting me french braid her hair lately.  That was something I always dreamed about..... having a little girl who would let me  put braids in her hair!! Happy Mother's Day to me!! I love you, Annie.

I was looking back thru some pictures from last fall and I found 3 that made me laugh. The pictures are of a SLIDE. They are all the same slide - it just looks different depending on who is coming down.   My husband had a hard time getting out of the slide once he was at the bottom. Annie loved how fast it was and she even has her little tongue out as she came flying down and then there is my mother...

Life is somewhat like this slide.  We go thru things in life and how we come out in the end is up to us.  The choices we make - the attitude we have - if we do things in our own strength or seek God's guidance. Sometimes I find myself STUCK. I want to follow Christ more earnestly and seek Him and enjoy the ride! (I also went down this slide but fortunately no one was there to take my picture. Maybe next time...)