everything I need....

Lullabies....

I borrowed this from a blog called "Mason Jar Memories".
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I’m in the arms of Jesus and he sings me lullabies

Thought this was so beautiful…

“Daddy please don’t look so sad, momma please don’t cry.
Cause I’m in the arms of Jesus, and he sings me lullabies.
Please try not to question God, don’t think he is unkind.
Don’t think he sent me to you and then changed his mind.
You see I’m a special child, I am needed up above.
I’m the special gift you gave Him, a product of your love.
I’ll always be there with you, so watch the sky at night.
Look for the brightest star and know that’s my halo’s brilliant light.
You’ll see me in the morning frost that mists your window pane.
That’s me in the summer showers, I’ll be dancing in the rain.
When you feel a gentle breeze from a gentle wind that blows.
Know that it’s me planting a kiss upon your nose.
When you see a child playing and your heart feels a tug,
Don’t be sad mommy, that’s just me giving your heart a hug.
So daddy don’t looks so sad and momma please don’t cry.
I’m in the arms of Jesus and he sings me lullabies.”

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On my way home from work today I was thinking about our baby in heaven.  My thoughts were not about sadness and "poor me".  I was thinking about all the destruction and sadness going on in the aftermath of the big storm out east - all of the stresses of life - all of the "darkness" and evil surrounding halloween.  I am so thankful that Jesus chose for my sweet baby to skip all of that and go directly to heaven.  I'm selfish to want him to be here.  

All is well with my soul.

Thank you, Lord.

August 28th

If August 28th were a person I think I would stick my tongue out at him.
Blaaah!

Why does a small square on a calendar..... a block of 24 hours..... an innocent Tuesday..... need to be such a harsh reminder of my empty aching womb.

Happy birthday to my 7 year old in heaven!  I think about you every day.

I love you.

Senses

I love being a mother of a toddler. 3 words I would use to describe her are silly sweet and spongy! Spongy? Extra spongy - absorbing everything around her!  I love watching her learn things.  We have been playing "school" a lot in the past few weeks.  The other day I was teaching her about our 5 senses.  I gave her examples of how we use each sense... Seeing - Smelling - Hearing -Touching and Tasting.  As I explained each one, we talked about what life would be like without the ability to have that particular sense.

I remember telling her that if I had to give one up - I would choose smell.

Last night I woke up at 3:05 am and as I took a deep breath I was reminded about the sense of smell.  There must have been a very unhappy skunk right outside our bedroom window.  Before falling back asleep I spent a few minutes thinking about smells.

If my whole life was summed up in a smell... what would I smell like?  Would I be a fresh ocean breeze on a beautiful summers day? A colorful garden full of blooming rose bushes? A pan of chocolate chip cookies ready to come out of the oven? Would I give off a pleasant smell that would make people breath in extra deeply and smile a contented smile?  Or would it be a stinky smell making people wrinkle up their noses and walk the other way?

More important than what others think of me - what would God smell?

I like Ephesians 5:2 "Walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and gave Himself for us as an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling savor."  Am I a sweet smelling savor to Him? If I choose to live a life that is a sweet smelling sacrifice to God - He will be pleased and others will be attracted to my smell as well.  My love for God and my genuine love for others and not giving in to my selfish desires and striving to please Him in all I say and do will enhance my fragrance.  I really want to have a good smell!  I know I need to work on a few areas that I have been trying to cover up with perfume or breath mints in order to hide some stench.

So, I will keep pondering my sense of smell and now as I am looking at it with new eyes - and I am not so sure I would give it up!

******Adding this comment in a day later...
At church this morning the message went right along with this!  (God is so funny.)
I took away a few things that I wanted to add to my blog- #1 - It is not about me!  #2 - I need to LOVE people as Christ loves them, even when it is difficult. #3 - Love is a verb.  I need to love with my actions.
All things that I know and have heard before but things that directly will enhance my aroma.

My heart...

Heavy Heart.

I feel like I have had a heavy heart lately.  I have been dealing with a few things that have warn me out emotionally and overwhelmed me mentally.
I am so thankful that I know that the strength I need comes from Christ alone.  His arms are a fortress for the weak.  He gives rest to the weary and hope to the hopeless.
Without Him I am Nothing.
With Him I find Peace and Comfort.

lukewarm

I saw this today and I wanted to post it. I don't know what words to write to go with it - so for now I am just going to let it be here alone.

Good-Bye Mr. Tiggs

It is crazy how a furry four legged feline can become such a part of the family. When I was growing up we always had dogs. Close to 16 years ago when we came home with an orange cat previously named "Peaches", I didn't know that he would become such a special part of our little family. He had a great personality and I quickly grew fond of his little quirks. He liked to sleep on my head, run around like his tail was on fire, and he had the silliest meow when he was looking at the birds outside the window. He did great adjusting when Annie came along. He put up with all of her noises and hugs and kisses. He was great at keeping my lap warm even when I was trying to get other things done and he would push his way in to get my attention. When he hurt his leg a few years ago, I didn't mind lifting him up onto the bed so he could sleep with me. In the last year when he was beginning to "age" I didn't mind getting up at 2 am every night to feed him. He was my little buddy and I am so blessed that he was with us for so long. He holds a special place in my heart. I miss you, Keekah! Thanks for all the fun memories.

Lovin' the warmth!

It has been so fabulous having great weather in January! (I have always know that God loves me.... but this weekend I think I'm His favorite!! Just kidding....)
Yesterday I was spent a lot of time outdoors and today - even more!

Annie and I had a fun day today!

Even though it began way too early, it was great right from the start. Here is a look at our day:
Yummy scrambled eggs and a bagel for breakfast - and I drank half a pot of coffee!
We hung out and played with legos and colored in the living room for a few hours and then she went down for a little nap.
I took a shower and cleaned up the kitchen a bit.
We went to the grocery store and got a few things (they were still giving out a free samples - bonus!!)
Went to the pet store to get cat food and Annie got to see the birds and lizards and turtles and cats and fish. She told me she wanted to count how many fish in the goldfish tank. Seriously- there were at least 150 fast fish in there but she counted to 9 and then asked me to count them! She is funny!
We went to Culver's and got some chicken tenders for lunch and split a little ice cream - I think I had a little more than 1/2!
We walked to the park and went on all the slides and all the swings and just enjoyed being together and breathing in some fresh air.
It was starting to get a little cold so we walked home and.....
We decided to have a picnic in the living room. I let Annie pick what she wanted to eat. She went and got a blanket and laid it out on the floor and I brought in our snack platter of cheese, sun chips, and orange slices.
Then it was bath time. Grammo gave Annie a HELLO KITTY pink fizzy bath ball for Christmas. So, to say the bath water was PINK is an understatement! She had a blast in the tub full of warm pink water - any 2 1/2 year old princess would love that!
We ate a little dinner and read a dozen books- gave a few extra hugs and kisses- and I tucked her into bed. I think she was probably asleep before I turned out the light.
Oh my princess.... I am so blessed.
I will cherish this day forever!